I try not to blog much about cancer, but I guess I can break my own rule every once in a while. I feel like God wants me to open up about this subject. So, if you're looking for some cute pictures and fun stories, this probably won't be the post for you:)
This September will be 10 years since Mike's initial diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma {yes, the one with a 90% cure rate.} Mike will be 30 next month. He was diagnosed when he was 19 years old. He's spent almost 1/3 of his life with cancer. He hasn't been in remission since 2003. He's had cancer the entire time we've been married. But you would never know it; that's one of the coolest things about Mike. Thankfully it's rubbed off on me too. I figure that if Mike doesn't want to talk about it and dwell on it, who am I to make it a constant topic of conversation? But sometimes that gets hard...
Friday night Mike woke up at midnight with throbbing back pain. He thought sitting up in the recliner would help, but it only got worse. At 2:30 am, he told me he needed to go to the ER. This would have always upset me, but this time was different. There's something about picking up your sleeping child to put him in a car seat to drive your husband to the ER at 2:30 in the morning that makes you angry. I wasn't angry at Mike, and I don't think I was angry at God. But I was angry. It was one of those times I just wanted a normal life, as if there is such a thing.
Today when Dr. M came in the room and told us that the PET scan results showed an increase in cancer after the current chemotherapy regimen, I couldn't hold back the tears. This was only the second time I've cried during one of Mike's doctor appointments. I can usually hold it together, but today was different. I kept thinking about Trent and how I don't want him to worry about cancer. I know you can't always protect your children from pain, but I want him to have a healthy daddy.
One of our biggest goals is to live our lives as if cancer wasn't an issue. Mike succeeds 99% of the time, and I like to think I'm getting better too. Thankfully we have a loving God and a great support system.
Mike starts another treatment tomorrow. If you think about it, say a prayer for us. I'm overwhelmed, but I'm blessed to have such a Godly husband and precious son.
Okay, so maybe one cute picture:)
6.15.2009
The C word
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39 comments:
Oh April, I"m so glad you blogged about the C word. I know that we all want to know what's going on even if it's not always fun. I will be praying for you guys for sure. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with this!
That picture is precious. I am definitely praying for yall-I have been since the fall!!
After reading this post, I kept thinking about the part that you don't want Trent to worry about cancer and have a healthy daddy. That is certainly the goal (and what I KNOW will happen), but until that time, what an amzaing opportunity for Trent to learn faith, courage and perserverance and show him the true strength of his daddy! This is just the bright spot in this dark time (as I see it) until y'all hear that glorious word... CURED!!!
April-we are praying for you and Mike! Anytime you need me to come sit at your house with Trent in the middle of the night I will. You can call me anytime! We love you so much! And we're praying for complete healing!
We are praying for you guys. If you ever need someone to talk to- please let me know.
Praying for you and your sweet family!
You are the two most amazing people I know, and I'm SO sorry you're going through this. Trent is so blessed to have the parents God gave him - what great examples of strength and courage and faith he will grow up with. I love all three of you and am on my knees for you. If there's anything else you need, I'm here.
Thinking about you often but especially now. I was sorry to read the news. Another friend of mine blogs about her husbands battle with cancer as a whole other blog so she can really say what she is feeling without holding back and not worry about people expecting to see the "cute" stuff of life. Maybe an idea, like you have time?!? :) Still praying for you all.
I will be praying for you and Mike and Trent. I'm so sorry for the crappy news. I'm one of those lucky people in the 90%category... I believe that Mike will be among us soon!
I just wanted to let you both know that I am thinking about you! I really can't imagine what you might be going through but over the course of the last few years from reading your blog and caringbridge site you have given me a stronger faith. I have seen first hand how the Lord has taken care of you both and now all 3 of you. HE will continue to take care of you and I am praying for Him to give you continued strength. I am praying that this new chemo keeps the cancer at bay and always praying for remission.
On another note Allison recently posted some more info on the Hodgkin's Webmagic board about the possibility of SGN-35 being offered for post allo patients. You may have already heard about it but just in case.
Take care,
Stephanie
April, Thank you for sharing and opening up about your life. I cannot imagine how hard this is for the both of you. I will continue to pray for you, Mike and Trent.
Love you.
April, I wanted to say that I as well will be praying for your family. Prayer is an amazing healer!
You have been on my mind all day!! Know that you are being covered in prayer.
I can't put in words the awe I have of you April. I could never be as strong in this as you are. The prayers are being lifted and please keep us posted even though I know it's hard to talk about. God bless you and your family.
April & Mike - we love y'all so much! I just can't imagine all of the thoughts that raced through your head yesterday. I do know that Trent is so blessed to have such a wonderful Momma & Daddy in you and Mike. You both have a touching & heartwarming testimony to share with him {and all of us}! I know my faith grows as I watch the two of you. It was great to see y'all this weekend! I hope & pray this treatment is the cure! Let us know if you need anything! Love, La
Always praying for you guys. You are both such strong people. Hang in there, April. We love y'all!
Mike is such an inspiration to others and so are you with your strength for him and Trent. We are praying for all of you!! Trent is just precious!!
I hope you don't think I am a blog stalker. I saw the link to your blog on some of the other blogs I keep up with. I know who your dad is from working at a bank in Opelika a couple of years ago. Anyway - I am so so sorry that you are dealing with this. I am praying for you and your husband right now. The Lord's Grace and Love are sufficient for ALL of your needs....
I am so sorry, April. You and Mike will be in my prayers.
Could it be that God is setting us all up to get the most glory possible out of Mike's cure? I don't claim to know what He's up to, but all these prayers aren't just disappearing into thin air.
To hear your struggle breaks our hearts, but it also makes us pray more fervently.
Praying Mike's treatment went well today and we're on the road to remission. . .we're hurting with you and can't wait for the day when we get to have a C word celebration - CURED!! Love y'all!
April- You are so amazing. Tom and I will definitely keep you in our prayers....Keep us updated! We love yall!
April, you and Mike are always in Chris' and my prayers. I am glad to know the update and I'm glad yo posted even though I know it was so hard. You know a million people read blogs so hopefully you will have more prayers sent your way. Y'all are so encouraging and honestly every time i read your blog i think, "i wish i could spend time with april" and i really think chris would love mike!maybe one day we can all hang out! praying for you always.
Praying for y'all April and keep clinging to HIM!!
April, you have no idea how much of a testimony you and Mike have been to so many! I've been thinking about you and praying for yall all day. My devotion this morning was awesome and made me think of yall. I will email it to you soon. Love you both so much!! Give Trent a kiss for me!
You, Mike, and Tent are in our prayers! Please keep us posted. If there are specfic prayer request let us know. I will email our Sunday School class also for extra prayers! Stephanie
I just said a prayer for Mike and you and Trent. I cannot pretend to know what this must be like for you, especially as you are celebrating such a wonderful time with your somewhat new family!
i am so very sorry to hear about this rough time. i am praying for mike, the doctors, and you and trent too. i've added you guys to my prayer list on my blog as well.
Another blog stalker... I keep up with your blog because our babies are about 5 days apart. I found your link through a mutual friend's blog. I will definitely be praying for your family. (and oops, I posted this on the wrong post at first in case you see it twice.)
I will be praying for you and your precious family.
April, I'm so sorry to hear that his cancer is worse. I know the fears of a mother are much worse than they were when it was just the two of you. I will be praying for all of you.
Wow...you don't know me but I check in on your blog every once in a while and would have never thought your husband was sick at all. Please know you are and your family are in my prayers. Thank you for opening up about this and keep us updated.
Hello, I guess I'm a blog stalker.... I found your blog through some mutual friends in Montgomery and we have sons born just a few weeks apart. I am praying for you and your family. I am so sorry that you all are having to face this.
April --- I am so glad you blogged about what yall are going through. You and Mike are absolutely amazing!!! Yall are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep me updated. Just two quick verses that I am sure you have said over and over again..but it is one of my favorites
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. -- Proverbs 3:5-6
Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking of your and watching everything you do. -- Psalms 15:7
And finally...the will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.
Sending lots of love and comfort your way!!
We love you and are praying for healing! You two amaze me with your courage and faith. God is good and his mercies are new each day!
April, please know we are praying for you, Mike, and Trent. May God give you courage, strength, and grace for the tough times.
If Ben and I can ever do anything to help, please don't hesitate to let us know.
Good to see you kids last weekend. I'd say your attitudes and outlook are pretty amazing. We're a phone call away should we need to come down and go out for Mexican.
Russ
I love you guys so much April! We're praying for you and your sweet family. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you guys, please. I don't even know Mike, but he humbles me tremendously!
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